The other side of good humor.
Does this sound familiar: in the company of some people, humor feels somehow exhausting – with some, one joke after another is fired off until it „sucks“. With others, the punchlines about themselves, their job, their colleagues or life itself are so biting that they start to hurt inside. And that’s despite the fact that we all like to laugh.
Humor is associated with joy and good humor. It can reduce stress and strengthen social bonds. We master many situations much better with it than without it. And then there is this other side, which is worth recognizing…
Being able to laugh at yourself is a great way to deal well with mistakes and shortcomings. Still, „the dose“ makes the difference between medicine and poison.
If we can’t find our way out of self-irony, we insidiously inoculate ourselves with a negative self-image. We then gradually stop taking ourselves seriously, which invisibly leads to a drop in self-esteem.
I remember, for example, customers who, bit by bit, have moved away from living according to their actual values and ideas.
A small step here, a larger one there – that can be endured with a portion of irony towards oneself and the surprises that life has in store.
However, if we then gradually (precisely BECAUSE it can also be endured through irony) move further and further away in our way of life from what makes us human, it becomes tricky.
Maybe you have already met such people. They can’t stand themselves or their current life very well and try to cope with it through painful irony.
Irony in permanent overdose attacks the soul in a way that you also feel in your soul as a listener. Sometimes it turns into cynicism or biting sarcasm.
It hurts – I smile „myself over it“
Sometimes we also use humor to deal with painful emotions in difficult situations. In any case, first of all a great strength.
But what about situations in which the real strength lies in recognizing and processing our feelings, perhaps also communicating them?
„These are the strong ones who laugh through their tears. Hide their own worries and make others happy.“ Franz Grillparzer
Instead of then confronting our fears or our sadness, for example, we pack them into inner drawers, which we seal tightly with our humor.
The clever thing about feelings is just that they have something like a „reverse half-life“: they don’t decay.
They only seem to decrease in intensity, becoming more intense the longer they are locked in the drawer with the humor key. At some point they find their way into our consciousness in their own way – sometimes creeping, sometimes with a proper bang.
Humor is an amazing support in coping with difficult situations. However, it also means that it can make us endure situations where change is the better choice:
Another customer had mastered the increasing demands of his job over the years, thanks in part to his sense of humor. However, he failed to recognize when this became excessive.
The news that it was now more than enough came with a long delay in the form of a surprising anxiety disorder.
In the meantime, he has mastered it well. On the one hand, thanks to his sensational sense of humor. On the other hand, because he listened carefully and learned to set healthy limits before everything became too much. #schlauerdurchaua has worked well across the board. But it doesn’t have to be that way, because there are better ways.
If you’ve read this far, you might want to bite the keyboard now. Now I want to scare you into a good mood in German top form. On the contrary!
I want you to continue to laugh from the bottom of your heart and feel the joy that arises in your body. I want you to experience the happiness of the moment with humor. That you have many moments in which he connects you with you and other people in the kaputtlaugh. I want you to enjoy fun throughout your life.
I share the experience about the other side of humor with you, so that you can distinguish. So that you can hear it, in case you have more serious, news for you, while your humor gets especially loud:
- a very high degree of self-irony
- humorously disparaging assessments about yourself on a regular basis
- avoid emotional seriousness very quickly with humor
- avoid conflicts on a grand scale with humor
- sarcasm or cynicism as faithful companions
Then just go on deeper through the gate of your humor – because behind it always waits exactly the right feeling, with the right message for you. No matter which one.