Three misconceptions that keep us from taking full advantage of its impact.
In all honesty- what are your first associations when you hear „emotional intelligence“ (EQ)? Terms like empathy or „being good with people“? It’s time to clear some misconceptions and understand why EQ is so much more important than just connecting well with other people.
Myth 1: Emotional intelligence is mainly about empathy
Empathy indeed is a relevant part in the EQ cluster „other focus“:
EQ comtepencies in the cluster „other focus“
Based on Roche Martin, inspired emotional intelligence
But empathy is not the only relevant key. In this cluster the level of your „straightforwardness“ has a much stronger effect. If it’s already high in place, you can communicate difficult messages in a „clear is kind“, trustbuilding way. It’s about coming from confidence when you:
- express a different opinion,
- pass on an unpleasant message.
Your straightforwardness is much more than pure „assertiveness“. The effect stands and falls with how well you balance between assertiveness and your ability to „recognize others“ – which makes a good level of „self-control“ inevitably.
The interaction of these three skills depends 100% on your relationship with yourself.
Of course, empathy plays a role, but your inner balance in dealing with the unknown and your self confidence are just as important. Which brings us to the second cluster of emotional intelligence – the „inner focus“.
EQ comtepencies in the cluster „inner focus“
Based on Roche Martin, inspired emotional intelligence
Myth 2: Emotional intelligence is mainly important in collaboration
To achieve our goals in life, the #1 skill that has been identified is perseverance. In her Ted Talk, Angela Lee Duckworth beautifully sums up her research on it.
Your perseverance is based in large part on your self-reliance, one of the skills from the inner focus of your emotional intelligence.
- How confident are you in making decisions?
- Do you rely on the opinions of others before you act?
- Do you remain determined when obstacles arise, or do you doubt yourself?
Your self confidence, of course, also plays a big role. Just like the competencies from the third EQ cluster, the outer focus:
EQ comtepencies in the cluster „inner focus“
Based on Roche Martin, inspired emotional intelligence
More than the more obvious EQ traits of „optimism“ and „adaptability,“ I find „self-actualization“ fascinating. This is the ability to set goals and cultivate gratitude and work-life balance along the way.
The effect of emotional intelligence therefore goes far beyond good interpersonal relationships.
Rather, the ten EQ skills are crucial for your inner stability, the ability to set goals and your stamina to achieve them. It is the key to shaping your own life and being less thrown off course by external life circumstances. And the best part:
Emotional intelligence can be developed
Presenting you all EQ skills today is beyond the scope of this article. But I hope the introduction shows you how much it is worthwhile to get further into this fascinating topic.
Our EQ strengths and development potentials can not only be asessed by a scientifically based self- and 360 degree assessment, the ECR 360®. In contrast to IQ, all EQ skills can also be specifically developed.
Some of my clients do this for themselves after our common EQ profiling-session. Others let themselves be guided further, e.g. to progress faster or in a more targeted way. Either way, it is always great to experience the developments that open up for them – both in terms of private and professional fulfillment.
Keep in touch with yourself,
Jana
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